I saw you in my dream last night
But you shouldn’t have been there.
It’s been months since I saw you last
And it was like you were unaware.
‘You need to leave’
I try to push you away
But just as stubborn as ever,
you just grin at me and stay.
Once, not so long ago,
a dream of you felt so real…
But now I just want you out,
Those memories aren’t what I want to feel.
And then I woke up!
I was free to go about my day
But dream-you had other plans…
plans to come back and play
You visited me again
I groan, crying ‘What the hell?!’
But you only seem amused
and stay that night as well.
Again, I’m free at daybreak
mixed emotions are coming up.
It feels like you’re seeking me out
But why, clearly I wasn’t enough.
I feel such relief when
I don’t see you again
But then you came back to dreamland
How could this happen?
I’ve gotten to the point of frustration!
I even bought a candle to clear the air
But even with its cleansing,
Dream-you doesn’t seem to care
So, here I sit now writing,
hoping you take a hint.
I loved you once, so very much,
But my heart no longer can take it.
This poem comes from a place of frustration–generally speaking, I only write poetry when I’m feeling something strongly, with those feelings usually being sadness, being lost, and on the rare occasion happiness. If you’ve read some of my other poems–namely ‘Dobles‘ and ‘Rowing‘ (sort of ‘A poem from a Hopeless Romantic‘ but not quite as much)–you might have gleaned both a sense of sadness but healing, or a sense of moving on. This poem, however, is different…because I thought I moved on and now I feel like I’ve been pushed back, scrambling somewhat to regain the ground I suddenly lost in the whole healing process. Don’t fret though, my dear readers, I am doing fine, I’m just a little peeved in terms of matters of the heart and this is my way of coping with that–the cathartic release of poetry.